Back on FB….
Lost the war… That evil Mark Zuckerberg!!! Damn you!!!
So some time ago I deactivated my account, not because I didn’t like seeing every aspect of some smugs life I added cuz I once spoke to the guy. Not cuz I was up to date to whatever hobby he was into at the moment. It certainly wasn’t because I was informed every time somebody coughed, or sneezed, or bought a seven up, or almost stepped on some dogshit(yeah right almost…). It really didn’t bother me that every prick nowadays seems to think his opinion matters and everyone in my friends list needs to know it. And really my friends I’m not getting bored of you posting that you’re bored, in fact that little piece of information makes my day so much better. I really appreciate knowing that you’re bored while I’m working my ass off.
I really enjoyed being tagged in the same wishing card pic multiple times.
“Let me check my inbox. Oh I was tagged by someone I barely know. Must be an old pic I forgot, let me check. Oh!! Its a picture of a kitten…. Oh the joy…”.
Lets not forget all the farms, cupcakes, mafia request I so love, makes me feel so important.
No its not these things. I just wanted to stop for some unknown reason. And I did. I was free. Damnnnn, it felt good. All this free time on my hands, finally I can work (yeah I said work, that’s research on http://www.cracked.com, shut up).
And then it started.
“Ok, done my work, read every article on cracked, checked my mail, blocked that irritating guy that just doesn’t seem to get that he should not click on weird looking links(Yes I’m talking to you, please keep your penis enlargement pills to yourself)”.
So after a few weeks, I discovered that being productive in my life makes a good impression but mostly really sucks. I felt myself glancing at my wife’s profile. Yes, glancing, not staring, clicking vividly on every news feed possible.
“Uhhmmm what do you mean honey, it was already open on your browser. I don’t know who opened so many tabs. Must be that new beta version of Chrome. By the way did you know John Doe’s brother’s neighbor’s sister-in-law has a new kitten? Yeah, you’re tagged in it. “
Ooh snap!! I was in trouble. Had to fight the urge. It was hard, but I didn’t care. I have beaten stronger opponents in my life…. But the force was strong with this one…Then came the practical problems.
” How the hell was I supposed to know you were sick? Oh you posted it on FB? ( Uhmm ok, weirdo) “
” So you found a mechanic by posting it on FB, honey?( maybe not so weird) “
” So mr X is now with that bitch? What does she look like? Lets find out on FB (FB, I miss you!!)
” So all the details of the event I am organizing are on FB?. (My god why the hell am I not on FB??)”
” I really have to call/sms you now to congratulate you on your birthday? (holy crap what was my damn password again??)
So here I am, posting shit my brain spews. Sometimes called thoughts, but mostly defined as rants, I think.
So bring on your Farm animals, stupid jokes, gossip,
other-peoples-quotes-to-make-yourself-seem-smarter,
desperate cries for attention,
I love it all!!!
I’m back people!!
Sincerely
Mr. Hypocrite
PS: Mark Zuckerberg, I hate you for winning, but mostly for being a gazillionaire and thinking of this FB shit before me (cuz I was totally gonna do it).